Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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