I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
