I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize