I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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