K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
