I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
