Pappa wants mamma naked
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
