I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
