He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
