hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
