So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
he laminated a picture of his dick.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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