Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He felt like a one man threesome
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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