The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
