we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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