She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
