I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
