So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
