So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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