mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
The power of my boobs compel you
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
