got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
