My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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