i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
