i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
