I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
