My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
