you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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