i just google imaged poop.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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