he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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