There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
