pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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