what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize