i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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