My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
