Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Do vagina's smell?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
