OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
