she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
