My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
