Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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