there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
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Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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