didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
