I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
