no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
