I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
