If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
