Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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