waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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