i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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