So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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