Three words: puerto rican gang bang
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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