After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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