I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
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We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
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After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
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