4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
