I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I have grass duct taped all over my body
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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