hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You're like the curious george of whores
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
