I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
