My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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