What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
