i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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