that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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