Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
