I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
