David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
