im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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