It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
