I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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