Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
