I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
